A woman is struggling with a hard truth about her relationship with her longtime boyfriend, who keeps refusing to grant her one simple birthday wish.
Taking to Reddit‘s “Am I the A–hole” forum, the 29-year-old woman explained that she’d been with her 37-year-old boyfriend for just over five years.
She noted that they have busy schedules with work, and her boyfriend also coparents a son. As a result, “there isn’t much time to put to the side for me.” Despite that, she said that they make it work.
However, her partner continues to refuse to give her one thing that she wants when it’s her birthday, and it’s making her realize that she might have to do it on her own.
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In her post, she wrote that every year she asks her boyfriend to take her dancing.
“Every year he gives me an excuse as to why he can’t. Most of the time he says he will need to make arrangements for his son. And I feel like that’s an excuse because like I mentioned before, we are always planning our activities,” she explained. “And this isn’t a random trip that we decided to take. This is my birthday that is on the same day every year. So I keep telling him that’s all I want to do, because that’s true.”
She added, “I went dancing all the time before him and I started dating. And though my boyfriend doesn’t enjoy it, I feel like it’s okay to be uncomfortable for 2-3 hours one day a year.”
Her boyfriend has found a way to avoid dancing every year. She said that “like clockwork,” he did the same thing again this year.
“So I told him that I was going without him because I’m tired of waiting on him to celebrate my birthday with me the way that I’ve been asking. And I did,” she wrote, wondering if that made her a bad girlfriend.
In a follow-up reply, she noted that it wasn’t like was was “asking to be flown out of the country or to rent out the Disney Parks.” She said all that she wanted was “to wear a cute outfit, have drinks and dance with my favorite person in the world on my birthday.”
She was concerned that she was in the wrong. However, many fellow Redditors said that she had made the right decision and that she needed to reevaluate her relationship.
One person replied, commiserating that they’d “wasted [their] twenties waiting around for other people to come do the things i enjoyed.” They added, “now i just do them alone and i’m so much happier! screw him, if he loved you he’d come with you, leave him at home to be boring.”
Another agreed, writing, “If he can’t give you a few hours a year of something that makes him uncomfortable but something that you love, then that should show you that he prioritizes himself over you.”
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