With a sibling’s wedding coming up fast, a guest thinks that they might be totally justified to skip the big day.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole” forum, the user explained that their youngest sibling “was officially married in 2022.” However, the happy couple is finally getting around to hosting a ceremony and reception in the coming weeks.
As the date draws nearer, the Redditor is beginning to think that they and their partner maybe don’t need to attend.
Keep reading to find out more…
In their post, the reluctant wedding guest noted that it felt like everyone had been “celebrating this marriage for 4 years now.”
Additionally, they described their sibling’s spouse as “an acquired taste, which, me not my partner have developed a liking for.” At best, they can “tolerate them in small doses.”
The Redditor also wrote that they weren’t “exactly super close” with their sibling.
Despite all of that, they told another Redditor that attending the wedding “would have been a no brainer.”
It’s just that certain things have come up that have made the idea of traveling cross-country feel like a waste of time and money.
“Talks about this celebration have been ongoing since early/mid 2025,” they wrote. “My partner and I were under the impression that the ceremony would be held at a beach/harbor in May, but we were waiting for the save the date to get the details.”
They said the info never came and their sibling “never checked in.”
“Having reached out to my sibling and getting no response, I reached out to our family group chat at the end of Jan and started asking about the ceremony. I needed information on where the ceremony was, what time, rehearsal dinner etc.. and nobody knew anything,” they claimed.
Continuing, they wrote, “There was mention of a website that had all of the information, but no one knew what the website was, as my sibling and their spouse did not reply to the chat.”
“This is where I started getting frustrated and not wanting to attend,” the Redditor explained. “I made some phone calls to my father, mom, and other siblings and expressed how bat-s— crazy it is that my partner and I are expected to make arrangements to travel the entirety of the country with zero information.”
A few days after, they learned the details. The ceremony is taking place on a party boat, which will be out on the water for at least six hours. A cocktail hour is taking place the day prior.
“My main issue is the lack of communication coupled with the lack of response from this particular sibling,” the poster wrote, explaining why they no longer wanted to attend.
Reflecting on their budget, they wrote that plane tickets were $1,000 over budget, and renting a car and hotel were also costing more than expected. They purchased travel insurance so they could realistically cancel the trip without losing too much money.
“With all that said, [would I be the a–hole] if I excused myself and my partner from this ‘ceremony’? We feel like our time and energy would be better spent helping my aunt & uncle rebuild their deck since we both already have the PTO approved.”
Fellow Redditors were split on the best way to proceed.
One person wrote that, had the sibling wanted them to come, “they would’ve provided more information. They would’ve sent you a save the date. They would’ve sent you the website information. If they didn’t, you don’t have to go.”
Others wrote that it seemed like the sibling didn’t want them there anyways, saying that declining might do everyone a favor.
Some people called the Redditor out, saying that they didn’t like their sibling and were stirring the pot. However, they shot that claim down.
“For the record, I LOVE my family — sibling included so this is not some hate/personal vendetta against them,” they wrote. “Flying across the country and going to this ceremony would have been a no brainer if it wasn’t all second hand information.”
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