A pair of soon-to-be newlyweds are in a tough spot over the guest list for their impending wedding, and people are telling them it’s all their fault.
Taking to Reddit‘s popular “Am I the A–hole” forum, a poster noted that their wedding was coming up “in a few months.”
Since it was taking place “in a very intimate setting,” they were keeping the guestlist tight and opted not to give any of their divorced parents a guest, writing that “none of them were in a relationship” when they made the decision.
However, things have changed now, and they aren’t sure how to proceed.
Keep reading to find out more…
In their post, the Redditor noted that their father had since gotten into a relationship and asked if he could bring his partner with him to the wedding.
“The day we met his new girlfriend, he asked if she could attend as his plus-one and offer us $50 (which is only a fraction of the cost per person),” they wrote, adding, “We told him, ‘At this time, we aren’t sure if we can accommodate her since RSVPs haven’t been confirmed yet.’ A few weeks later, he asked again, and we gave him the same answer.”
After asking a second time, they said that they “assumed he was respecting our decision.” That wasn’t the case.
“However, a few weeks ago, his girlfriend texted my fiancée asking what color she should wear to the wedding. We were shocked! We sent a polite reply reiterating that we still didn’t know if she could attend because the guest list remained unconfirmed,” they wrote, adding, “My dad texted me days later saying he ‘didn’t want to create drama, but he really wants her there.’ We repeated the same stance, and he simply said, ‘Ok.’ ”
The situation escalated again when the Redditor’s dad informed the couple that he had proposed to his girlfriend after being “together for a maximum of four months.”
They wanted to know if they were in the wrong “for still not wanting a near-stranger at our intimate wedding?”
Taking to the replies, fellow Redditors explained the role that the couple played in their wedding mishap.
One person wrote that they were in the wrong “for not just giving him a straight answer.”
Another agreed, writing, “[Original poster] said ‘things were quiet so I thought they were respecting our decision’ but OP never gave dad their decision!”
They continued, writing that the person “caused this situation by not being honest.”
“You caused this situation by not being honest. You need to tell your dad in no uncertain terms that she is not welcome and be ready for dad to throw a fit or be hurt,” they wrote.
Others agreed, noting that they should have followed up after saying that they needed to check the guest list.
“That is why you tell people no if you want then not to come. You tell them no + reason and not hope they get the Vibe from a non-answer,” they stated.
The bride and groom were accused of “failing to communicate” their actual desires, with someone saying that they’d giving the dad what “amounted to ‘maybe’ not a hard no.”
While Redditors agreed that they didn’t need to have the woman at their wedding, they said that they needed to stop “beating around the bush.”
“How is he supposed to respect your decision when you have never clearly set a decision. ‘We’re unsure yet’ is not a no and it’s not a decision,” they wrote.
A bride recently confessed to being “extremely annoyed” after learning something that her in-laws expected ahead of her wedding.
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