Taylor Frankie Paul is sharing a candid post about her tumultuous relationship with ex Dakota Mortensen.
On Thursday (May 14), the 31-year-old Secret Lives of Mormon Wives posted a lengthy message amid her ongoing custody battle with her ex-boyfriend after she was investigated for domestic violence.
“It’s so sad because nobody wants to be like this. I hate that I am no longer myself. I hate that I stayed for so long,” Taylor wrote on Instagram. “I blame nobody more than my own damn self, because how did I allow this for my kids and myself for so long? I’m sorry to THEM. I don’t need to log off and remain silent. I’ve already admitted in court I’m fully NOT INNOCENT, I know that. None of it is okay, period.”
“I’ve been in survival mode for years with miscarriages, pregnancy, postpartum, and horrible betrayal with so many lies told, which added to the trauma on my body physically, hormonally, mentally, and emotionally,” she continued. “Those layers also matter. To make it more difficult, I was scared to call for help or tell anyone because I was being reminded I would be the one in trouble given I’m the one on probation already.”
Taylor went on to allege, “Imagine being pregnant & postpartum healing internally and too scared to ask for help or at the very least speak about it and he knew he had that advantage, which gave him MORE access to do whatever, knowing I’d remain silent. What people aren’t understanding is you don’t even realize you’re in it and what’s happening psychologically for a long time. You solely believe you’re the only insane one because they twist everything that you eventually feel insane. Then to find out you weren’t insane, in fact, I was right about it all, which is gut-wrenching to learn. Was always projection. It’s a human response to eventually snap and then getting stuck in the cycle because they console you, saying, ‘It’s okay you’re acting out, I’m still here for you and love you still,’ which then you’re feeling bad as they are aware they are gaslighting you. Even after learning a lot of that, you STILL want to be held by that same person. It’s twisted, I know.”
She then addressed questions from fans about why she didn’t leave her relationship before it got this toxic.
“And then there is the ‘Why didn’t you leave sooner?’… which is valid and let’s look at how it ended for me when I finally did,” Taylor wrote, claiming Dakota, 33, had “love bombed, then manipulated, threatened [and] physically hurt” her, in addition to having “cops called on me, [being] publicly humiliated, lost most friends because he got to them, had CPS called, and am now in court all because I said no more and he knew I meant it this time.”
“The difference between us, my love was real for him without gaining anything, and people know that. Not sure it was the same in return. I cried the whole way home after court, allowing the pain through,” she wrote. “I wish he had been the person he pretended to be. I experienced enough, I saw too much. The mask fell off, and not only with me. We’re both in the wrong. What I can say is I didn’t want to ruin his life, call cops on him, take his child away, or claim complete innocence … that’s the difference between us.”
Also in the post, Taylor took aim at Mormon Wives co-star Mikayla Matthews, who has distanced herself from Taylor amid all the ongoing drama.
“And then we have friends like Mikayla that come at me during all this, and now she wants me to apologize? Absolutely not,” Taylor wrote. “She can go kick rocks instead of kicking me right now.”
If you didn’t see, Taylor recently addressed reports that she will not be filming season five of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives as production resumes.
Posted To:Dakota Mortensen Taylor Frankie Paul The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives
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